This journal is officially dead and gone. I've switched everything over to sigilgoat :3

Copypaste from my FA journal:

I am purging the princessbunny99 stuff from the internet. Please refer to these new fun places for all your Sigil-chat related needs:

AIM: sigilgoat
YAHOO: sigilgoatbeast
MSN: sigilgoat[at]live.com
GMAIL: sigilgoat[at]gmail.com

Livejournal: sigilgoat
Twitter:sigilgoat

Just as available, with a more goat flavor.

I dunno if it's PMS so it happens every month or just every couple. i just get so fucking depressed. i can look and see that it's stupid and i have so much to thankful and happy for but it just doesn't change anything.

should i make a list? i dont even know. i just feel lazy, gross, horrible, fat, horrible, useless, helpless, horrible, fat.

chris is 185 lbs and that means he's gained 10 pounds since he last checked. i dunno how long ago that was but seriously, he's making this huge IM GONNA DIET GOTTA SHED THIS WEIGHT thing and what sort of horrible whale beast am i compared to that

no no, don't compare yourself melissa, that's not right. but i can't help it. i don't feel pretty or anything, even thought he tries. we have a really great relationship, so i know for sure its not him.

i can't have sex, haven't been able to for over a month thanks to all these lady problems. every time we try i end up in so much pain.

i don't want to medicate for my mood. isn't that giving up? isn't it failing?

chris says he's willing to support me on excersize or whatever, but i know its not important enough for me to actually change anything. if i wanted to diet, if i wanted to walk or whatever, wouldn't i? i've tried cutting out some things but i just replace them with others. soda for brownies, fast food for pizza. i never eat fruits or veggies because i'm too lazy to go to the farmers market down the street.

i feel poor even though we aren't. i don't make enough money for myself. i'm behind on commissions, though i am getting caught up. once i have an empty queue i should feel better, right? then i'll probably start stressing that i need more commissions to do

fsdgfsgdfgsgdfgsdgfsgdfgsdgfsdfgffff

i need more friends in real life to spend time with. i'm a real shut in. i wanna have a dink party but i dunno if anyone would come.

i miss portland so much. i could at least go to saturday market or bubble tea or someones house for a party. I don't even know if i'll get to visit at christmas thanks to dog drama. i dunno how i'll ever trust anyone to watch him again.

Lets see how fast I can say things.

1. Rainfurrest-THE FURRY CON
It was awesome. I broke even which was my goal and i met a bunch of amazing NORMAL artists. yes we were all people who draw dog dicks but i dunno everyone was really awesome and approachable and nice.

2. The puppy.
While at Rainfurrest the bitch who was supposed to be watching uther wasn't. he was deprived of his food, water and also got beat up by her pit. he has an owie on his paw that looks awful but its healing. he just keeps biting off the fur so it looks 80 times worse >:C

3. relationship:
still awesome! <3 <3 <3 <3

4. being an actual artist
lol apparently i'm good! i'm gonna finish the 10 or so commissions i've got on my queue now before taking on anything other than my quicky 5$ things. Or if people ninja commission me like last night. i love making 15$ out of the blue :3

5. the car
needs a hug

6. i miss portland
enough said

7. hi, how are you doing?

8. i want my hair pink again. punnky color doesn't stay in wtf.

EDIT:
I am also looking for a webmaster/scheduler. I need someone to help me with bunnymilitia.com and also keep my commission queue in order. I will pay you! It's a few hours a week commitment tops. Anyone know anyone versed in php?

Friday:
Early Dinna at Tanuki ~4
Party at Lynx/JenJens @ 8. Call/message me for addy.

Saturday:
Mom/Grandma Lunch
???? Dinner
Dancing at the Fez at 9

Sunday:
??? Breakfast/Lunch
Go home :>

i kinda want to get a hilarious tattoo a la gang style cursive on my neck

i already have visible tattoos but this one's really pushing itself over the edge

will i still love it in 10 years? I dunno, it is meaningful to me.

help :<
what are the other cool gang places to get tattoos if not on the neck

HELLO

**I finished my first hemmingway book. I think it has been affecting my writing style. I keep on typing all...concise and expecting people to understand my meaning without having to go into a fucking monologue.

**Ok so I'll be in portland August 14th-16th with Chris :> Here is the schedule so far. Feel free to show up at these places without notifying me in advance.

Friday:
Early Dinner at Tanuki ~4pm
Party at Lynx/Jen-Jens (Evening-ish, will post address once I get it)

Saturday:
Lunch with mommy and grandma
???
Dancing at the Fez (9?)

Sunday:
Breakfast at Cup and Saucer (?)
GO HOME

**Modeling thing will happen next spring sometime. Getting ready for Rainfurrest (lol) and getting junk done. The heatwave and depression have passed and I am feeling kinda awesome. ZOOM!

*chris is on a 48 hours on, 48 hours off schedule. this makes me crazy and question his actual existence. I find myself wondering how much of my life is a dream
*been depressed due to above situation. drawing, cooking, drinking water has fallen to the wayside
* birthday was ok, rainbow came and got me out of the house WOO. i am 25. i feel old.
*been playing too much second life
*have been slowly working on commissions
*FIRST BUTTON ORDER thanks to Nathanael. Very very excited to work with him on this. Waiting on button blanks and to get my ass into potatoeshop
*Been trying to define a quicker, sketchier and more dynamic sketching style. IS WORKING! woo. very nice to spend less than 30 minutes on a drawing and feeling complete.

ughghghghghghghghghghghghgghgh
the end love you all time to take chris in for another 2 days of confusing dreams.

oh and i saw bruno, it was kind of hilarious in the way sacha always is.

i always found bruno kind of handsome. is something wrong with me.

chris started his 48 hours on 48 hours off schedule.

Pro: its like 2.5 weekends a week!
Con: other than those weekends, I dont see him :/

my fridge is broke too :

(9:36:58 AM) princessbunny99: i just had a sex dream about niel gaiman
(9:37:00 AM) princessbunny99: what does this mean
(9:37:14 AM) ixzist: you're a fanwanker
(9:37:23 AM) princessbunny99: it was a realy good dream too
(9:37:29 AM) princessbunny99: i dont even think he's cute :<
(9:37:39 AM) ixzist: you want to fuck his books
(9:37:47 AM) princessbunny99: i had a sex dream once about penn too
(9:37:50 AM) princessbunny99: from penn and teller
(9:38:07 AM) ixzist: i would do teller first, personally
(9:38:11 AM) princessbunny99: hahahahahaha
(9:38:19 AM) princessbunny99: do you like your men like you like your coffee
(9:38:21 AM) princessbunny99: small and quiet
(9:38:39 AM) ixzist: strong and full of cream
(9:39:09 AM) princessbunny99: aaaaa
(9:39:17 AM) ixzist: hahahahahahahahahaha
(9:39:26 AM) princessbunny99: i'm following teller on twitter
(9:39:29 AM) princessbunny99: i like him too
(9:39:34 AM) princessbunny99: they both seem like fun people
(9:39:41 AM) princessbunny99: i need my mom to introduce me to pen
(9:39:57 AM) ixzist: she knows him?
(9:40:06 AM) princessbunny99: ya
(9:40:14 AM) princessbunny99: he rides recumbent bicycles too
(9:40:26 AM) ixzist: i knew that
(9:40:41 AM) princessbunny99: she met him at some bike thing and gets free tickets to his shows
(9:41:03 AM) ixzist: what is teller's twitter name?
(9:41:08 AM) princessbunny99: they're not like sleepover friends or anything
(9:41:16 AM) ixzist: ha
(9:41:18 AM) princessbunny99: i mean like
(9:41:21 AM) princessbunny99: little kid sleepover
(9:41:24 AM) princessbunny99: not my mom is fucking pen
(9:41:25 AM) princessbunny99: aaaaaa
(9:41:31 AM) ixzist: hahahahahaha
(9:41:34 AM) princessbunny99: im lolling so hard

1. it was fun
2. me and chris are all <3 <3 again
3. to kinda quote my twitter post about it: Drunk assholes, listen up. If you spit blood in a person's mouth and then say you have aids, do not be surprised if you are killed/beat the shit out of/handed over to the police.

demlabc mothafuckaaaas

Here's some stuff I've been doing for myself. yay. Some is NSFW

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Ok so I'm gonna be in Portland on SATURDAY the 6th! I will be at Tanuki restaurant at around 5 pm!

Please come by if you wanna hang out. Cheap food, cheap drinks, rad little place, I love it soooo much.

http://tanukipdx.com/index.html

I miss you guys, this will be funnnnn even if it's just me and lief. Hahehehehehehe

I'm also available to do stuff Sunday Night if anyone has plans.

-pb-

Good things first, then you don't have to read the gross things.

I got my button maker. Freaking sweet. I am making buttons and they are rad. I still need a template so i can make sure the images aren't too big.

I'm still selling art, wooo! People like my stuff :>

I bought an awesome pink dredlock wig that I'm gonna sew llama ears on. Thinking of making a few more Dahlia-esque accessories and a Sigil hoodie for Rainfurrest. lol i'm going to a furry con

I got my dealer table + hotel reserved for RF! ECMajor is gonna sit with me :> I will remember to ask him for like 15 bucks. He and Lightstep might be rooming too. This will be awesome because i'm afraid of furries i dont know.

Chris and I are doing freaking fantastic. This is one of the coolest relationships I've ever been in. He listens, I listen, I'm really growing as a person and giving up a lot of the shit I've believed to be true over the years. He dealt really well with me having a crazy attack on his birthday :<


OK NOW THE GROSS
i had a cyst removed yesterday. I've gotta get another one out next thursday :< It's really really gross and they sliced open my head and pulled it out and it looked like a chicken kidney. Now i have stitches and my hair looks stupid.

ok thats it :>

got a meeting with a modeling gig. Not sure if i'm staying the night or not, depends if chris'll be there to drive back home.

speaking of chris, i'm really pissed at him. he totally messed up last night in regards to his drinking and not telling me what was going on. I'm debating whether or not to be a bitch today. I really can get over it pretty fast, but it was totally inappropriate so I don't know if he'll learn by me being pissed.

Whatever, i probably have like 8 hours to decide since he'll sleep that long.

since people seemed interested in seeing them :>

behind cut
ones got boobies watch out
( Read more... )

HOPE YOU LIK IT

I have made over 100$ last week on my art.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

seriously i wake up every morning excited about drawing

lets see how long this lasts.

Ir really does feel like someone paying me to do my favorite thing. I hope I'm improving.

so i'm gonna make a set of Sigil icons. For those of you who are not aware, Sigil is my baphomet-based goat character I use in most of my furry art junk. Well my personal art. Everyone on FA has a total boner for my llama character.

So anyways, i did this little drawing excersize of 25 expressions and I'm turning 10 of them into icons. Help me choose.

Fullsized image is here:http://www.bunnymilitia.com/iconideas.png

smaller image is here http://d.furaffinity.net/art/princessbunny99/1241713701.princessbunny99_25expressionsofsigilsketches.png

please tell me what numbers to turn into actual pictures kthx :>

but i have to go to the doctor and i'm already scared.

See, i get cysts on my head. I think it's totally gross, but have been assured it is no big deal. They hurt, they're embarrassing and the only way to get rid of them is to have a somebody open up my skin and dig around in there until they give up. ughghughughguhghghhghhhhh i want to be knocked out but its not that intensiiiive.

im also getting more xanex cause im almost out. i only take one every....two months now that i'm not working, but its so bad to not have them when i need it. and maybe this doctor can see if there's anything wonky with my digestion other than "well you don't have a gallbladder, duh"

i made stroganoff last night and its almost gone already lol. supposed to feed 4 people >:3 oh well it fed two.

i can't decide if i like it or not

and i kind of feel sexier

edit: after watching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YITlcfhdWAE

i love it

So I'm back down to the weight I was in January. 10 lbs in 2 weeks. Not exceptional, but I'm happy about it :>

Lief asked me about my goals a while ago and I finally decided. I want to get down to 220, and I'd love if i could get into a size 18. being a 1x in pants would be kind of rad.

McDonalds has sucky salads. And its hard to not drink soda :<

EDIT: I also made like 90$ this weekend from commissions, and more should be coming. Apparently I need to charge more. hemhem.